Letter to Me

If I could write a letter to me
And send it back in time to myself at 17
First I'd prove it's me by saying look under your bed
There's a Skoal can and a Playboy no one else would know you hid
And then I'd say I know it's tough
When you break up after seven months
And yeah I know you really liked her and it just don't seem fair
All I can say is pain like that is fast and it's rare

And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
She wasn't right for you
And still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back
And you're wondering if you'll survive
You'll make it through this and you'll see
You're still around to write this letter to me

At the stop sign at Tomlinson and Eighth
Always stop completely don't just tap your breaks
And when you get a date with Bridgett make sure the tank is full
On second thought forget it that one turns out kinda cool
Each and every time you have a fight
Just assume you're wrong and dad is right
And you should really thank Mrs. Brinkman
She spent so much extra time
It's like she sees the diamond underneath
And she's polishin' you 'til you shine

And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
Tonight's the bonfire rally
But you're staying home instead because if you fail Algebra
Mom and dad will kill you dead
Trust me you'll squeak by and get a C
And you're still around to write this letter to me

You've got so much up ahead
You'll make new friends
You should see your kids and wife
And I'd end by saying have no fear
These are nowhere near the best years of your life

I guess I'll see you in the mirror
When you're a grown man
P.S. go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can

And oh you got so much going for you going right
But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night
I wish you'd study Spanish
I wish you'd take a typing class
I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be
I'd say have a little faith and you'll see

If I could write a letter to me

As I listen to this song and the lyrics, I have often wondered what I would write in my letter to me and today as I blog about it, I still really don't know..Would I warn myself not to date certain people? Would I tell myself to do something differently? I know one thing would probably be to have spent more time with loved one's that I've lost. As I look back at my life (especially the teen age years) I know I made a lot of mistakes but who doesn't as a teenager? If we don't make mistakes as teenagers, how do we learn to become responsible adults? (as if that's even possible right?) I know as I look back I should have done a few things differently, chose this guy over that guy, paid more attention to people who were really trying hard to be there for me, etc. I can't change it now, I don't need to dwell on it.. Those things I did, decisions I made, are all part of who I am today.
So instead of writing a letter to me, I guess I could look at this as writing a letter to "mini" me.. My Kid!!! Can I warn him ahead of time what it will be like? Can I keep him from having his heart broken? Making the wrong decisions? Help him pick the right girl over the wrong one? Remind him what it's like to do something really stupid and get caught by the cops? Can I do that? Can I keep him from "experiencing" life? Making mistakes? Doing stupid teenage things? Part of me (the MOMMY part) of course wants to to all this but the "inner child" part of me who really had fun as a teenager (for the most part) wants him to have these experiences. I will be there for him when he does. I will tell him things won't be easy. I will stand on the sidelines but step in when necessary. However, there are a few things from my teenage years, that I don't want him to experience but I do want him to be able to look back on it someday like I am today and remember his friends, the things they did and hopefully even still be friends with some of them.

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”

Kristi

You Haven't Seen the Last of Me.

Recently I had an idea for a second blog. Why do I need 2, why can't I just post these on my other one? Well the other one is primarily for Jake and his struggles/issues and for me to share our story as well as resources/research with those who need it. This one is going to be more about me.. I know, exciting right? Who cares about me, my life is not that exciting and definitely not worth following a blog over but it's my blog and I can do what I want so there.. BUT.. this one is all going to be music/movie/book based! What? Yes each post will be based around a song, movie or book clip. Why? Well because my life is tied so much to music, my friends, my mood, my life experiences, etc. Of course there are also those movie clips that make you feel good, say, why can't that happen to me, or oh crap, are they talking about me? I recently told a friend of mine that I wanted to write again but every time I do, the stuff that comes out is a lyric form a song, a line from a movie or something from a book I've already had.. So basically this is me telling my life through other people.. AKA my life according to..
They may not be the best songs, and some of you may say? Why that song? Or you like that artist?? Really? Well it's not about that. I love music on a deeper level than who sings it. I listen to the lyrics, I have memories associated with songs, and plus this is MY blog. If you don't like my song choices, 1) write your own blog or 2) don't read mine.:)
My first song is
You Haven't Seen the Last of Me by Cher from the movie Burlesque.





Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But just there's something so strong
Somewhere inside me.
And I am down, but I'll get up again.
Don't count me out just yet

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking,
But I can take it.
I'll be back -
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me.
You haven't seen the last of me.

They can
Say that
I won't stay around
But I'm gonna stand my ground
You're not gonna stop me.
You don't know me, you don't know who I am.
Don't count me out so fast

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking,
But I can take it.
I'll be back -
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me


Why this one? Well the lyrics of course.. This may be my new theme song. The way I look at my life and how I want to love it. I've had things happen in my life that could have broken me, could have knocked me down and for a period of time, they probably did. But I always get up, it may take awhile and it may require some help but I will do it. I won't give up, I won't go down without a fight. My friends seem to think I am a hero, but I'm not. I love them for thinking I am and I am humbled by that but I do not feel like one. Most people say they could never do what I do but I really think that most of them could, if they were faced with it as well. There are some things in my life (relationship status in particular) that I pretty much feel like giving up on and maybe that one I can, but I won't ever give up on Jake, I won't give up being his mother, his protector and I will fight for him until I draw my last breath. He deserves the best life can give him. I will make sure he gets that!
I may not be perfect, I don't even want to try and attempt to be. I am me! Things that I have experienced in my life have made me who I am today. The mistakes I've made, the choices, the good and bad decisions, the lesson's I've learned are all mine. Everything happens for a reason, there is always a silver lining, when one door closes, another one opens, ... insert appropriate cliche here...

So any way's that is today's song. Each one may be different, depending on the day or the mood. But I will continue to share and tell my story. Hope you will read it. :)




“Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought.”

Kristi